Excited to Have a Seizure... HUH?!

For almost 2 years now, my epileptologist has been suggesting that I participate in a video EEG. All kinds of things have gotten in the way though. Ultimately, I think I was my own biggest road block Perhaps I blamed it on work scheduling or lack of money or made a variety of other excuses but I'm finally able to admit that I simply was not mentally or physically "prepared" for what the very near future holds. 

I'm not exactly sure what has "flipped the switch" but it's on in full force and I'm EXCITED! Sure, there are fearful undertones; the fear of the unknown, some "what if's" involved. But in general, I'm ready to have a bunch of electrodes attched to my head, look grundgy, probably feel kind of icky for a large portion of the time and have family and friends witness multiple seizures. 

I've never been excited to have a seizure until now. Yep, I'm looking forward to having seizures while I'm in the hospital. I'm so hopeful that this experience is going to give my doctor the answers he's looking for. My epilepsy has changed so much over the years and I have had very few new tests done. This is no ones fault but my own; remember, I'm my own road block. That said, the treatment has been a little bit of a shot in the dark... a well educated shot in the dark. 

I check into the hospital on January 19th, the day we celebrat Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. There is no coincidence here. Dr. King and I both have dream; his was to be equal, mine to be seizure free! We've kicked down our roadblocks. 

What's your dream... what's in your way?